I’ve been told that not all my friends like the museum as much as I. What? Shocking!
In an effort to make it enjoyable for everyone I’ve copied this lovely little tidbit from the book The London Collection
, which is a must-read for irreverant London tourists like myself.
My personal favs are 1 and 9.
What are yours?
1. Dress up as a Victorian Imperialist. Wander the galleries recounting to strangers how you rescued all this stuff from the savages.
2. Fall to your knees in front of the mummy cabinets, clutch your throat and cry ‘Dear God, the legends were true! Run!’
3. Wear a long, red wig and sprawl naked on the glass roof. See if anyone gets the obscure satirical reference.
4. Leave behind a tablet of ‘cave art’ depicting a hairy man with a shopping trolley. And then see how long it takes before people notice. Oh, Banksy already did that.
5. Loudly threaten to scrawl over the priceless Roman marbles with indelible marker pen, then look outraged when the guards start running.
6. Ask in the Reading Room if they’ve got Jordan’s biography.
7. In the gift shop, insist that your change be given in Carolingian coinage. Perferably silver denarius.
8. Find the dullest of the many dull potsherds on display. Wave your arms excitedly while uttering exclamations of amazement under your breath. Then tell anybody who enquires that you’ve tracked down a fragment of Christ’s chimney.
9. Dress up as C3PO out of Star Wars and march up to the Sutton Hoo helmet. Place your hands on the glass cabinet and, with all the pathos a robot can be expected to muster, whisper the word ‘Father’.
10. Go up to one of the attendants, all excited, and say: ‘Hey, I’ve got this really great joke. You’ll never have heard it. How much, right, does a Grecian earn? No…no, that’s not right. I mean, what’s a Grecian urn? Eh?…Eh? Depends wat his jobs is, yeah? Ha!’
